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When Failure May Equal Success

Are you invested enough in your child's success to permit the possibility of failure?

A recent piece in The Atlantic Magazine, Why Parents Need To Let Their Children Fail, touches on the non-content related goals of education and ways that overzealous parents can sometimes short-circuit them.  The gist of the article, that the possibility of occasional failure must be allowed by parents, caused us to again reflect on the role that we believe effective tutoring should play and how that perspective informs our approach with students.

In a prior post, we touched on the balance that we believe effective tutoring should strike between facilitation and struggle, and some examples of ways we use to maintain a balance that ultimately leads a student forward.  The idea is to incrementally provide what a student may need, bolstering confidence, while allowing for enough challenge to help a student acquire new skills and learning that lead to mastery and independence.

A similarly delicate balance should be sought when trying to scaffold students to acquire personal responsibility taking, planning skills and time management mastery.  To be clear however, each student is unique.  The balance that is right for one student may not be right for another, especially if that student struggles with extenuating conditions such as ADHD or issues with executive functioning.  That’s one reason why a custom approach can be helpful.

As the article correctly points out, furthering a student’s confidence and promoting an education in independence are paramount.  This means that students need to be given the opportunity to solve their own problems and draw their own conclusions, while risking the possibility of failure.  This can be an uncomfortable balance to allow when a parent wants the student to experience success.  We believe that the trick is in reminding oneself that “success” should be defined broadly enough to look beyond the immediate result of a grade achieved on a particular assignment.

Communication with a student’s educators is key in achieving this balance needed to facilitate the above.  Talk to your student’s teachers and tutors so that expectations are clear and that what happens at home and in the instructional setting are consistent.

http://www.qwertyed.com/blog/when-failure-may-be-success

http://www.facebook.com/qwertyed

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David R. May 20, 2013 at 01:18 pm
I saw a public report that said most of the discussion related to carpooling and so forth, sinceRead More Blach is separated so much from the rest of the school. You know, things like dropping off both kids at Egan, and then a group of kids headed for Blach share a ride or vice versa. I don't see how any nonparents can really help with that.
mtnview_parent April 12, 2013 at 03:06 am
The only problem with the charter school is that they cause more problem than they solve. TheyRead More want to close Covington, then Blach. So, they don't provide flexibility at all. They keep going to court. This is a case were the remedy is worst than the disease. The original idea is that we have to be creative with the 10th site. Land is scarce, and most likely, we cannot provide the same facility than other school within the district. People are not happy about being moved from their school (with good reason I feel) Solution: provide an inspiring project. May be an immersion program, or a more academic program, or maybe a program to help english learner from K-3. If we don't innovate with a more flexible program, we might just need to redraw the boundaries every 5-7 years. Nobody can foresee the future, but you can build flexibility.
Mitch Caldwell April 11, 2013 at 11:36 pm
Maybe offering a magnet school could help with stability? It can balance out enrollment at otherRead More schools so that attendance boundaries do not have to be redrawn. Isn't the charter school doing that for the LASD district right now?
mtnview_parent April 11, 2013 at 10:36 pm
I saw you had a good discussion on the definition of a neighborhood school. But beyond theRead More definitions, I would like to ask why does palo Alto school District and Cupertino School district have a mix of neighborhood school and some choice school. Those are two high performing district right next to us. Can a choice school be an excellent way to stop the highly disruptive attendance boundary change ? People say I am for statu quo, that I am against change. I feel that family and children need stability, that is why we don't change spouse at the pace the BoT change the attendance boundary. People who want some stability at home (and their school) do make a reasonable request.