Debunking Perfection with Ana Homayoun

Ana Homayoun is a native of Los Altos and the author of The Myth of the Perfect Girl.

 Her newest book is a well written supplement to raising a teen-aged daughter today, paired with the advocacy and counseling that she implements at her educational counseling firm, Green Ivy.

Green Ivy is located in Los Altos on Main Street, where Ana provides guidance to high  school boys and girls on the college admission process, counseling for young adults looking for a job, or advising on the transition from college to the real world. With her staff, Ana also does subject tutoring, and standardized test prep such as SAT ACT, ISEE for high schools, ultimately leading to a less stressful college experience and a more meaningful one.

Ana sees the struggle that these girls face when they measure themselves by the next accomplishment or achievement.

“Many of them were doing so much and feeling overwhelmed,” said Ana, “Like no matter what they did, it wasn’t good enough.”

Undoubtedly, the teenage years are often most confusing and full of confusion mainly for sake of bring liked. The choices young women make are affected by numerous outer influences, but with the help of parents and educators Ana guides her audience to bring girls more fulfilling lives.

“I’ve had so many girls come in to my office overwhelmed with so much schoolwork, or stressed out because they can’t get their work done,” said Ana, “but they’re up late on technology or they’re trying to juggle doing schoolwork with texting.”  “A lot of the times, girls couldn’t really tell me what they enjoyed doing for fun,” Ana said.

As her newest book, The Myth of the Perfect Girl, hits the book shelves, she focuses more on the struggles that young women face. She says, “a lot of the organization and the time management, and the goal setting that we do really helps girls de-stress and really helps them focus on what is important to them and bring joy back into their lives and focus on what are the activities you really like to do.”

Ana attended Duke University and obtained her masters in counseling at the University of San Francisco. She worked as a resident assistant in her campus dormitories. She learned how to listen to what people were saying while being intuitive of what they’re not saying, and what was really going on, “so you have to be open and non-judgmental.” Her values and sympathetic nature carried over to her counseling career as she empathizes with her students that walk through the doors of Green Ivy.

Students have all sorts of challenges; sometimes they’re academics, or the social stresses of being in high school, “So really understanding the whole picture is really important,” said Ana, “and having empathy for students to help understand where they’re coming from helps make us even more successful in finding solutions for them.” Each girl has an interpretation of their own as to what is ‘perfect,’ but a lot of it ties in to the external expectations from books or the media and girls themselves.

One of Ana’s favorite quotes is by Maryann Williams, which is “’our biggest fear is not that we’re inadequate but our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.’ It’s all about letting other people shine as well as ourselves.

 And it’s really about believing in ourselves, and that’s really important to me.” “Many girls are constantly focusing on what they can do more of, and no matter what they do, “they’re not good enough or smart enough, or there’s always some level of achievement that they’re not at yet,” she says, “and it’s okay to be ambitious, I totally promote ambition and dreaming big and wanting a perfectly or imperfect life.”

However, she more so supports the  whole idea of “building your own world rather than reacting to what other people are saying you should be doing.” Another thing she takes note of is that “Girls really focus on what they’re good at and what they want, and that’s great, but a lot of times, they don’t allow themselves to take healthy risks to try new things, because they’re afraid of not being good at something.”

The demands required of young women today is arguably more strenuous than in the past. Even more prevalent is the anxiety they must haul on their backs rooted by technology and social culture. The passion to guide young women carries through her personality even when she isn’t counseling students.

Ana strives to be an advocate for these unheard struggles, helping parents and educators help the girls balance their lives and find genuine happiness.

In the end these are Ana’s beliefs: “I had seen a lot of success teaching organization and time management and it’s a really inspirational job… we’ve had students who totally transformed their lives and they’ve become more engaged in school and in life so that’s a really rewarding thing.

"I really knew that I wanted to work with students and families in a capacity where I knew I could help promote change and help everyone reach their full potential, whatever that is.”